Be Careful What You Wish For
by bucketbot
Summary: A series of one-shots about the tragedy of having foolish wishes come true.
1. The Rain

**I do not own Bleach.**

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Omaeda had finally been healed by the fourth division and he was looking for his captain. He found her standing alone, staring forlornly at the darkening sky. Not for the first time Omaeda pitied his captain.

Looking around he noticed that everyone had someone else with them, comforting them. Yet, as always, everybody ignored his captain and left her to wallow in the misery of a century's worth of conflicting emotions. He noticed something caught her attention for the slightest of moments before she fell further into her stupor. To anyone else looking they would have seen the stoic Soi-Fon that she wanted them to see, but not Omaeda, he had served her for a century and could see the storm within her heart.

Inconspicuously he searched for what had garnered her attention and saw Yoruichi leaving. That blasted woman, why did she have to come back! Soi-Fon had never truly healed from what had happened when the first person to have ever cared for her, and the first person she ever loved, left. Every day Omaeda could see the weight of Yoruichi's betrayal weighing heavily on his captain.

He couldn't remember the last time he had seen a true smile light up his captain's face. That blasted woman had no idea the pain she had caused. She had obviously made it even worse; she had probably mocked his captain, not perceptive enough to realize the heart-wrenching pain she was inflicting. Her arrival had only made everything worse and Omaeda wished he could take away his captain's pain.

He walked over to her and, gathering up his courage, placed a hand on her shoulder. He was risking a hand to his captain's wrath, but he felt that the risk was worth it. She needed some sort of reassurance that at the very least someone understood her and cared.

"You got your wish huh? She finally came back." She turned her head slightly to look at him before turning back to the sky. He was saddened by the cloudy look in her eyes and knew the rain was not far behind.

"They say the only thing worse than not getting what you wish for is getting it." How much could a single person suffer? He had always tried to be there for his captain, but she was no longer capable of love.

"I'm waiting for the rain Omaeda." He was surprised when she spoke without prompting and immediately understood. She was dismissing him. He gave a small squeeze of understanding before turning to leave.

"Omaeda." He stopped, wondering what else she had to say. "Thank you." He allowed a small sad smile to cross his face before he continued on.

As the first rain drops began to fall they both looked up and allowed their tears to be washed away.

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**This short little one-shot takes place on Sōkyoku Hill right after Aizen's betrayal. In this Soi-Fon never had her breakdown in front of Yoruichi partly because of the pressing issue of Aizen and because Soi-Fon hides her emotions a little better in this. I always wondered if Omaeda had a crush on Soi-Fon as most of her underlings do.**

**Anyways this is my first attempt at writting so if you dislike my writing please tell me why so I can fix it.**


	2. A Moment Too Late

**I do not own Bleach.**

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"I wish for death." A sentence that passed my lips unbidden every day. I failed to understand how my spirit would not go since the torment it suffered in this world was so great. I was truly envious of all those who had already felt the sweet and gentle refuge of death. Today was the day that would change. Today was the day I had finally gathered enough courage to fulfill my darkest desire and thus I lie dying. I have lived a long life of disappointment and sorrow and the irony is that I finally find true joy through the ending of it.

My vision began to blur as the world around changed and I suddenly found myself in the sakura grove I used to train in with Yoruichi. Standing above me was a younger version of myself, staring at me in a mixture of disappointment and pity.

"Why have you killed us?" I was demanding of myself validation for my own decisions? It seems my mind is leaving me as quickly as my life.

"I've lived all my life for the sake of Yoruichi and still I find myself cast aside by her. What else is there to live for?" This only seemed to make my younger self angry.

"That's exactly your problem! You have somehow deluded yourself into believing that your existence matters only insofar as your ability to serve Yoruichi. Your joy is not intrinsically tied to hers. You foolishly believe you feel joy in the end, but what you don't realize is that joy comes from finally doing something you wanted. You mourn the unhappiness of your life yet fail to realize that to change your lot in life you must take a stand. You must change yourself by taking charge of your life and living for yourself." By the end of her tirade tears had begun to fall from her eyes.

I lay and mulled over her words, for surely such passion must hold within it seeds of truth. Analyzing what she said I realized everything could be boiled down to three simple words. Live for yourself.

Of course! How could I have been so foolish? All my life I've lived for the benefit of others, living in the shadow of my past. It was that very idea of living not for me but for others that created my misery. If I start doing what I want, not what others want, I would finally free myself of my sorrow.

Immense joy swept through my being as I realized that perhaps there was a life beyond Yoruichi. I would finally take control and live a life not for her but a life for me. Unfortunately my joy soon turned to horror as the reality of my situation came crashing down.

"No!" I cried. This couldn't be the end, not after I've finally discovered the secret to happiness. Even as this world, created by the hallucinations of a dying mind, crumbled around me and darkness encroached upon my vision, I couldn't help but think one thought in soul shattering despair.

**_They say the only thing worse than not getting what you wish for is getting it._**

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******I've decided to continue writing one-shots based on the recurring quote. **This is meant to be unconnected to the first chapter though if you want you can think of it as being soon after she leaves the hill. I'm hoping that in writing these I'll become good enough to actually write a full story. 


	3. So Pleased With A Daydream

**I do not own Bleach**

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"Hey Soifon, I'm going out to drink with some friends now, you sure you don't want to come?"

"No thank you, I have work to do." Soifon hid the annoyance she was feeling towards Yoruichi, her girlfriend of three months. All she ever did was either annoy Soifon while working or go out drinking until she came home for sex. Soifon tried her best to be accommodating, she even made sure to take days off to spend with her. However, Yoruichi had no real concept of responsibility and Soifon considered herself lucky that she hadn't been cheated on yet.

She had no knowledge that relationships required so much work. Nor did she ever realize truly how imperfect Yoruichi was. Soifon had simply assumed that once they started going out her life would be perfect. Three months in and now she was begining to realize exactly how foolish she was. She used to wish at least once every day that she could be with Yoruichi.

She had an idea of how their relationship would work and how they'd enjoy every last moment together. Unfortunately while her fantasies disregarded any flaws, reality did not. Instead of bliss filled days she got annoyed. Instead of candlelight dinners she got nights spent alone wondering if Yoruichi had finally slept with someone else. This wasn't how it was supposed to be right?

Maybe the tension within the relationship was completely one sided. Maybe Soifon had been so pleased with a daydream that living it is no good. Maybe she wasn't putting forth enough effort to meet Yoruichi half-way. She wasn't sure and even if any of those were true but she found herself not caring. She wasn't happy with the way things were and putting forth more effort merely to cater to someone else's happiness no longer appealed to her as it had in the past.

Soifon was ready for her share of the happiness that permeated Soul Society. She was ready for someone to share her life with after being alone for so long. What was going on right now certainly didn't match her vision. She loved Yoruichi without doubt but she also understood that love can die and she could easily find someone else. Her dwindling love for Yoruichi was proof of the first and thousands had broken up before only to find their true soul mate. Besides it's not like love was some magic fix all for any flaws your partner had.

Perhaps she should break up. It would certainly have been a short lived relationship but if it wasn't working than what was the point of continuing? Or should she continue on trying to make the relationship work no matter how one-sided the efforts were? After all she shouldn't expect everything to work out without a problem. She had partaken in enough missions to know that things didn't always go to plan. Certainly everything in life that was worth having takes effort to get.

Her feelings of love had managed to survive a century of anger so maybe it was meant to be. _Yes._ She finally decided, she would put forth the effort to make this work. She shouldn't disregard her good fortune of having her fondest wish be granted. With her mind set she immediately began to work as quickly as possible so that she might spend some time with Yoruichi.

Once finished Soifon rushed out at top speed. She knew exactly which bar it was that Yoruichi was hanging out as she had gone with her a few times. However, when she arrived she was surprised to find no sign of her elusive girlfriend. Perhaps she was visiting a different bar today. Asking around she confirmed that Yoruichi had been present for only an hour before leaving in the company of a blonde-haired male. A feeling of unease settled into the pit of Soifon's stomach even as her mind started to fabricate excuses.

Following the directions given by the bartender, it wasn't very hard for Soifon to begin tracking them down. Yoruichi was a rather distinct individual with stunning looks that ensured she wouldn't be forgotten. Many drunks had seen her though some of their directions turned out to be rather useless. After nearly thirty minutes she had arrived in front of a motel desperately hoping that it wasn't what it looked like.

At this distance it wasn't hard for Soifon to detect Yoruichi and Urahara's spiritual pressures. She easily found their room and slowly sneaked in. _After all, it isn't hard to sneak up on two people having sex._ She thought bitterly to herself. For there on the bed was a naked Urahara thrusting into an equally naked Yoruichi.

Soifon quickly left and sped towards the one place she had always felt safe. It was ironic that her sanctuary existed because Yoruichi had brought her here to train. She found it oddly soothing to be able to close her eyes and remember the past when they had been so happy. It allowed her to pretend that nothing was really wrong even though everything was wrong. _I'm never going to leave my daydreams again._

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**This seems to be more of prequel to the second one. Anyways, this is my last one as looking at them all I've realized they are all rather terrible. The only reason I posted this one was because it was already done so why not. **


	4. Regret

**I do not own Bleach**

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I was wandering through one of the many streets within the Seireitei wondering what I should do. Once more I had quite blatantly ignored the affections of my dear Soifon. It wasn't as if I disliked the advances, I simply didn't know what to do. The idea of giving myself over to another was frightening.

In fact many a time I had wished to no longer deal with the conflicting emotions that Soifon seemed capable of summoning up within me. If only Soifon would cease her advances and allow me to be free of my fear.

I certainly enjoyed the time I got to spend with Soifon though. I also knew that I loved the girl dearly. Whether it was platonic love or something more that I felt for Soifon was, as of then, unknown to me. However, Soifon had already decided what her feelings were and I felt as if I was being forced to tread unknown waters.

Her eyes, grey and beautiful, yet empty and sad. I would to talk to her occasionally, and they would brighten up as if my presence was all that she needed. I knew the power I held over her and frankly I was terrified. Would she hold this power over me as well?

I continued to try and understand my situation when I came upon a soul reaper who looked quite piteous. As he approached, it seemed as if the sun darkened, the birds began to fall, and the earth trembled.

I looked at him in confusion and thus he spoke. "Have you not heard?"

"Heard what?" So distraught was I for reasons unknown that I could hear his response but not his true words.

"The dear lady of whom your mind constantly thinks is dead." What?

"I cry your pardon for I fear I might have misheard." I hoped beyond hope that I had.

"I am unable to assuage your fear; Captain Soifon is dead by her own hand." It was at that moment that time seemed to freeze. It was as if all of life had decided to follow her to the grave. Already I could feel my heart tearing itself apart in sorrow.

I continued on my walk unaware of all that transpired around me. Already I was missing her. I found myself wishing I could touch her beautiful flesh just once more. Words fail to describe how my heart hurt with the harshest pain.

So I let out a cry that resounded across the land and those that heard it were consumed within the fires of sadness. So great was my sorrow that people would fear to look upon me should they die of pity.

Your life was a gift, why didn't you realize that? Why did you have to die and leave behind all these regrets? Why did you have to leave me behind? Why did I have to lose you to realize I truly loved you? Why, why, why, why?

I never fathomed how you truly felt when I left. I hope your pain was but a pale imitation of mine and yet again I know I hope for naught. My body holds many scars but none as deep and painful as this. I realized that up until then I'd never truly felt pain.

Turning my face towards the sky I shouted: "Death, I beg of you to come to me. Do you not see that I already wear your colours?"

Soifon, your beautiful voice and the smell of your hair somehow lingered on as if to torture me. As I walked my heart bled for everything that held memories of you.

I pinched myself despite knowing it was no dream. Yet even now it seems like a nightmare, it just doesn't seem real.

I couldn't stop seeing her beautiful face everywhere I glanced. It was as if my brain felt the need to remind me of her, so that my tears would have no end, this side of death.

When I reached our sakura grove I feel upon my knees. I called to Soifon, and said: "Are you truly gone?" Then looking around me I let out a bitter laugh. "Were this truly the heaven humans dream of then it would have no other defect but lack of you, my dear Soifon."

What happened for the rest of the day is still a blur, but I remember wishing that I was dead, instead of her.

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**I decided to continue these again, yes I know I'm rather indecisive. I can't get any better at writing if I don't practice so I'm going to keep going. Also the kind words of both 2koe and flower .kat encouraged me to keep going. ****This is really the only one that's related to another of the stories. As you doubtlessly noticed this is Yoruichi's reaction to Soi-Fon's suicide.**

**In all seriousness though, if you have someone you truly love make sure you go hug them. Make sure you start appreciating them to the fullest extent, because you never really know what you got, until it's gone.**


	5. Running

**I do not own Bleach**

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A life of expectations was one I had never wanted. To be born to certain parents and thus be forced to live the life others expect of their progeny. That I should conduct myself with the decorum and manner expected of a noble clans heir. To be chained to a fate that I abhor.

For so long I have wished to break the chains that bound me. I have wished for freedom. Yet today, the day my wish is fulfilled, I find myself wishing it were not so.

Love, whose power is so much greater than any I wield, has taken hold over me. Yet, despite the ferocity with which he grips my heart I have betrayed him in fulfilling my wish. For what use is my vaunted freedom when I have left behind my vision of loveliness?

As I fled from all those hated expectations, I also fled from the woman that I cannot allow to occupy my mind without sighing in sweet love.

Every soul in our society that gazed upon her is blessed, and should she be their first sight they would truly believe they had found heaven. Those who are wicked look upon her and weep. Somehow she manages to go about so humbly, as if she knows not the effect she has.

When I first met her love whispered into my ear, 'Today begins a new life' and from that I realized love would forevermore govern my soul. Our first meeting. I found such joy in knowing our first meeting was in youth, for I would be able to bask in her presence that much longer.

Perhaps I am indebted to the fate of my birth for it brought me to her. As if it were love himself at work our lives were tied together. To be in her presence every day and be exalted by her gaze was a fantasy made real.

She would find it within her grace to honour me with speech. She would lavish praise upon me, praise that by the very mention of her presence became hollow. She would gaze upon me with affection and I would know not but euphoria.

All of those who knew of my ties to her would be overcome by envy. Yet as she passed them by they would forget such pettiness and be filled with love. I know not why my paragon of beauty chose me of all to care for.

When asked of the existence of true beauty I but provide her as example. She who was able to make my heart tremble at mere greeting. She of whom the worship of her beauty is my reason for existence.

I curse myself for allowing myself to be without her. I despair in the knowledge that I have forsaken her. My very life has become a punishment. I have betrayed everything I thought I couldn't and now all I can do is weep.

All I can do is weep for within my mind is the miraculous image of her beauty, a beauty I might never be able to enjoy again. Each moment of misery brings with it the desire to gaze upon her with such force that no memory is enough to sate it.

I cannot live without her and so one day I shall find myself running back. Should she ever find it within herself to once more honour me with her presence I would wish that all could be forgotten.

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**2koe was right in that I used lines from the rapper Immortal Technique during my last one-shot. His song 'You Never Know' served as my inspiration while writing it. Yet again I have found a source of inspiration to write this one-shot though I doubt anyone will know it. You might catch a line or two that have been modified within this piece. I actually used modified lines from it as well for the last piece. In fact, it has served as partial inspiration for each but the first.**

**Anyways, t****his one is directly after Yoruichi has left Soifon behind. It is rather ambiguous as to who's thoughts they are but I lean towards Yoruichi.**

**I was going to stop writing these for a while to concentrate on getting more done on my other story but I felt that writing something different would help with my laziness. Thus I have created yet another one of these to torture you all with. ****If you, at the very least, find my writing to be good (not the content) do take note that I am willing to beta stories.**


	6. Happiness

**I do not own Bleach**

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"If there is anyone who has a reason why these two should not be wed, speak now or forever hold your peace." It was such a beautiful ceremony, of course anything less would be unworthy of Yoruichi

Soifon could still remember the first time she had seen Yoruichi. In her youth it seemed as if she was looking upon a goddess, a being too perfect to exist. It was a belief that Soifon carried with her even until this very moment. It hadn't been love, more idolization, but the seeds were planted.

It was that glimpse of something so otherworldly that had inspired Soifon to push herself to her limits. She trained everyday of her life just for the chance of once more laying eyes upon Yoruichi. Her life no longer revolved around bringing honour to her family but being worthy of existing in the same world Yoruichi did. It was always about Yoruichi.

Gaining entrance into the militia with her level of skill was a given, something for which she was thankful. She took every chance she got to observe Yoruichi. Idolization was no longer appropriate to describe what Soifon felt. Yoruichi had truly become a goddess and Soifon one of her fanatical worshipers. Soifon would study every movement, every speech, and attempt to burn the memories forever in her mind. She no longer paid attention to what others thought or said, they could never match up. It was always about Yoruichi.

Yoruichi began to notice her and her meteoric rise followed soon after. She would never know what originally compelled her goddess to grace her but she knew she had never been happier. Her veneration did not go unnoticed but its true depth did. Because of this Yoruichi lavished her with attention and Soifon lapped it up, positive or not. Every day was good, no matter her own insecurities. Then her goddess equated her to family and she knew bliss. She no longer cared for anything else. It was always about Yoruichi.

The day her love left was the day her world shattered. No word was left for her, no indication that she had been thought of. Had the time they spent together meant nothing? Was she simply a mere moth that had gotten to close to the flame and been burned? Hatred grew in place of love. She no longer cared for anything. It was always about Yoruichi.

Then her goddess came back, unchanged, to a changed Soifon. However, deep within the hatred there was still love. She could no more deny her love for her goddess than deny the sun rising in the morning. They grew close once more and Soifon felt happy. This was what she had wanted since she had first begun to know Yoruichi. To be with her on equal footing and enjoy every day. It was a foolish wish, but one that had been fulfilled. She no longer held hate close to her bosom. It was always about Yoruichi.

The memories still lingering within her mind, Soifon focused on the present. Doing her best to hide her emotions she let a strained smile appear on her face. She would dwell on the past no longer. It was never about Soifon, it was always about Yoruichi, always.

"I now pronounce you husband and wife."

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**Quite frankly this is what I always imagined Bleach was going for, if they even mention none main character relationships. Obviously it wouldn't be anything like this, Soifon would be comically sad, probably cry a little bit too for about one panel before skipping to something else. Despite being a YoruSoi fan I just can't help but be cynical. By the way, there's a small second part to this.**


	7. Happiness 2

_I say that I am so happy for you_  
_And I look at you in such cheer_  
_But oh how I wish to speak up and never do_

_He would try for your gaze and I would too_  
_For his love's recprication is what I fear_  
_I say that I am so happy for you_

_Of my love I think he knew_  
_For when my mouth opened he would appear_  
_But oh how I wish to speak up and never do_

_Too late for I stop and stand like a statue_  
_As I learn of your love and my eyes tear_  
_I say that I am so happy for you_

_The joy my words cause shines through_  
_As you believe me to be so sincere_  
_But oh how I wish to speak up and never do_

_My feelings I manage to subdue_  
_For my cowardness wins out even here_  
_I say that I am so happy for you_  
_But oh how I wish to speak up and never do_

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**This short poem goes with the previous chapter. It's my first attempt at anything like this and I hope I didn't create too many poetry haters with this.**


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